the ladybug chair is finished.

and yes.....in case you were wondering......i finished the chair on time! my ladybug chair. the one that took more than four months to complete. no, i didn't spend four months painting it. i just spent about four months procrastinating. and thinking. and changing my mind over and over again as to how i would approach this wooden chair. but finally, i settled....and the battle between my mind and my paintbrush has, at least for now, come to an end.

so yes. the ladybug chair is done, and it's reception was a success.

i delivered the chair to it's recipients on saturday (i had it done on friday, my deadline, but was unable to meet up to make my delivery until the next day). wide eyes and "oh wow"s made me smile!! i said i was nervous that they might not like the chair,

that i didn't think it was what they might have expected. that comment was met with a sincere "it's more than we expected!!", which of course made me happy. they loved my ladybug chair!! and i felt complete. and i was reminded as to why i take on projects like this. because it fills others with delight. and even though i said i was done taking on such projects for other people...i think i might've been mistaken. that moment of exchange made the entire process worth everything. and there will be a little girl named "karalynn grace" who will get to enjoy my efforts for years to come.

i feel blessed that i can give this gift. the woman who commissioned the chair, later told me that i "paint from the heart". what an amazing thing to hear...a simple observation forcing me to reflect and acknowledge that which is indeed true. i am thankful for her words.

ladybugs.

struggling to paint ladybugs. i've had this project for a few months now. a project involving the painting of, or should i say, decorating of a wooden chair for a child. a wooden chair meant to be adorned with ladybugs. that's the motif. ladybugs that i don't want to paint. tiny red bugs with black dots. i think it would've been easier to paint pink ladybugs. but this child's mother hates pink! even though this child is still only a baby. even though, to me, the idea of red and black seems awfully harsh for an individual so delicate and soft. so i actually haven't painted the chair, as one might have predicted. on the contrary, i used some green, some yellow, some orange, some brown. it's an earthy wooden chair. spotted with ladybugs. the red and black kind. i don't believe it's painted as expected....but i do hope the recipients like it. if i ever get it finished.....

my due-date is friday.

i've learned alot about myself, as an artist, by having taken on this project. i'm through with "decorating". meaningless, thoughtless, under-appreciated color placed onto a surface with a steady, predictable hand is no longer fulfilling. hence, i have decided that i can no longer paint what others want me to paint. the time has come for me to claim my talent as my own, so that i can utilize it as it is meant to be utilized. i've known this for awhile now. far too many ideas fly through my mind and are lost. lost because i'm always focusing on what i need to do for other people, instead of harnessing my power to really truly create! i simply don't have the time, energy, or motivation to do anything but pursue my own personal bouts of inspiration, any more. i don't have to paint. but i want to. and what i want to paint comes from visions in my head, brought on by my very own internal and personal processes that only i can interpret. there is much to be expressed, trapped inside this crazy skull. and i'm the best person, or rather, the ONLY person who can create those expressions!

but for now, i still continue to struggle with these ladybugs. i said i'd get this chair finished. and i'm a woman with integrity. so, i'll get it done. somehow. slowly. hopefully by friday....